3 Signs of a Toxic Relationship (Personal Story)

Relationships are complicated and difficult but should never come to the extreme as toxic.

From my own personal experience in a toxic relationship, I have found some instant red flags that you should leave.

The first red flag that I found in my relationship was she became very controlling and jealous. You can also categorize this with manipulation. Now a little bit of jealousy is fine because we all want to feel wanted and loved but this type of control and jealousy gets to be a little too much. In my personal experience, she was too concerned with where I was at all the time even though she knew exactly where I was because she had my location. Sometimes even sending me screenshots of my snap maps asking who I went with and why I haven't responded. These actions once or twice are fine but as an everyday occurrence, it became clear to me that it was out of control.

The second red flag is the separation of family. When you are looking for that special someone you want them to mix well with your family because marriage is bringing two families together. However, in my situation, all she talked about was how terrible my parents were and how we should just drop everything and move away together. For reference, we were 17 at the time… She then told me over and over how terrible my family was that I started to believe her even though those allegations are not true at all. If she tries to rip you away from your family and says to not talk to them then the relationship may be toxic.

The third red flag to look out for in a relationship is putting each other down. In my case, this was an everyday occurrence from telling me I'm stupid to saying I got into college because I could pay for it. When the relationship turns from being lifting each other up to tearing each other down toxic traits tend to come out. Never settle for someone who is just going to tear you down to make themselves feel better. That is the definition of a bully and we already got enough of those in our lives. When we are looking for a partner look for someone who has the same core beliefs as you, gets along with your family, and lifts you up even when you are at your lowest point.

I will admit while in this relationship I never really saw any of those traits or saw our relationship as toxic, it was only after I finally broke up with her that I saw what the relationship became and it was not good. Sometimes you need to take a step back and have a therapist tell you it was a toxic relationship before you even believe that it could possibly be.

Never settle for someone who does not match your amazingness.